What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
