my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
