he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
