I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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