I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
