You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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