Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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