I could have mohawked her pubes.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
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I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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