he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
