good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
