Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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