also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize