So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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