I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
