so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
