there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
