So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
