i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
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And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize