i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
