Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Do vagina's smell?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
