Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
