the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
