I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
