I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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