Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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