Yo dont text me then not text me
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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