Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
