and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize