How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
