Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
