What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
