i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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