So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
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They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
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That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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