So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
