but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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