So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
