My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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