you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
