he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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