last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
how does that bad decision feel?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
