We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
