So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
