stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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