I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
