So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the condom got lost in my hair
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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