is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She made me pour olive oil on her.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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