I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
