once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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