After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize