Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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