yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
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She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
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I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
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