great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the day after is always just damage control
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
