Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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