plz talk dirty to me
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
