god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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