I heard we made out
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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