woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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