Soap is not a condiment
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
