We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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