You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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