Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
